Ugh...frustrated

I feel like crap.  I have been feeling under the weather for the past 2 weeks, been on 2 different doses of antibiotics and still not feeling good.  My eating and exercising have sucked too.  I'm sure everything all together is not helping the way I feel, and it's frustrating :(  I'm frustrated with myself.  I don't feel like myself, I have low energy and all I want to do is EAT.  I feel bad for my daughter - I didn't even have the energy to take her for a walk or play in the park this weekend - bad mama!  Thankfully she enjoys a lot of indoor activities too, but it's still not the same.

Yesterday I made myself meal prep and so far today I've been doing well with my eating.  But I do have a little guy on my shoulder whispering the words...'chocolate chocolate' in my ear.  GO AWAY dammit.  I need to feel better and chocolate won't be the cure (or at least not the long term cure).  Sigh...I remember saying to my boss one day (also a single parent) - I don't know how you do it.  And she said it's all good as long as nobody gets sick.  If that happens, then it's basically like a car accident and takes a while to get back up again.  I can definitely relate these days.  Here's hoping I will be on the mend soon - if not, it's back to the Dr I go. 



Balance

I struggled this past week to find balance.  Balancing clean eating with a busy schedule of raising a toddler, working full time and trying to incorporate some socializing/dating can be a challenge!  Last week there was wine, chocolate dipped strawberries, birthday cake, bbq'd hotdogs...the list goes on.  I did my best to balance it all out with being active and sharing everything but I have to be honest I'm a bit afraid to get on the scale.  I'm not going to let this dictate a shift in my lifestyle though.  I know that I will have busy weeks like this again and that is life!  I'm ok with that and just have to pick up where I left off and press on.  First 'to do' - grocery shop from some fresh items.  I didn't even have time to do that on the weekend! 

 



Hungry!

For some reason these past two days I have been quite hungry in between my meals.  So the big question - do I eat or pre-occupy myself with other things in hopes of it going away?  I did have a cheat day on the weekend, so perhaps that's why or it could also be that I'm burning more calories with incorporating more runs into my schedule?  Either way I am HUNGRY.  I know that is often a question about exercise - do you eat back your calories like My Fitness Pal suggests?  Skinny Meg recommended to try eating back half. I think I will see what the scale says this week and then play with my calories as necessary. 

Do you ever feel this way?

So I've lost 12 pounds - not a lot, but I've hit my 'magic number' as I mentioned before, where I go from fat to chubby and people start to notice me more.  My boss said I looked skinny today - ha!

I feel more confident, happy with my body and overall just GOOD!  So here is my question - does this make you want to stop and return to your 'old habits'?  I hate to admit it but that has happened to me a number of times over the years.  I think I get to the point where I think I look ok and I start to treat myself a bit more and then a bit more and then before you know it I'm back up 10 pounds or more.  I'm really trying to be in this for the long haul aka FOREVER so I am trying really hard to stay on plan and focused on exercising and my eating.  Because my magic number is still over 200 lbs and that's not healthy.  I need to keep moving and working on getting that number down.  For me first, for my daughter, my health and dammit for my skinny jeans!  I WILL GET THERE no matter how long it takes.  175 I see you and I'm coming to get you :-) 

 

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Learning to Run

I am trying to run.  I long to be 'fit enough' to run carelessly and easily through the trails of our city.  I've been trying to get out 3 times a week at least and whenever I see the groups of runners or those that seem to do it so easily I get excited when I think that could be me one day.  I NEVER thought I would say that.  I hate exercise but for some reason the sun, beautiful weather at lunch time and just the fresh air has been a great combo for me.  It's stress relieving, it makes me feel good physically (well maybe not the next day when I'm stiff) and I think it's helping me shed some weight. My goal for now is to be able to run a 5K.  I have a ways to go.  Today I ran for about 2K but I did do 5K total.  I used to be the type that focused on time exercising and now I'm focusing on distance.  I'm not sure if one is better than the other but I feel like I'm accomplishing something cool!  And I downloaded the app - Runkeeper which tracks your pace, distance, time and calories burned.  It's neat to see how well you did at the end.  And something I noticed today - running without a stroller to push makes you twice as fast!  HA - go figure. 

My only concern is - what to do when the weather changes :(  I suppose the treadmill will be the answer...which means a gym membership.  I'm up for it but I do hope the warm weather lasts as outside is far more enjoyable.

Now if only I could disguise my tomato face after

PS Getting close to 'onderland' eeeeep :-) 

To Shop or Not To Shop

A change of seasons is upon us and I love to refresh my wardrobe this time of year.  But now that I'm seeing action on the scale (the right kind of action - ha) I debate about buying many things or just holding off.  I think I will be strategic in my purchases and maybe only by things that have stretch or fit on the smaller side for now...or are on sale :) 

Here are a few of my 'wants' for the fall:

 

Leather patch leggings - obsessed with these

 

 Boyfriend Blazer

 

 Sequin Skirt