Ugh...frustrated

I feel like crap.  I have been feeling under the weather for the past 2 weeks, been on 2 different doses of antibiotics and still not feeling good.  My eating and exercising have sucked too.  I'm sure everything all together is not helping the way I feel, and it's frustrating :(  I'm frustrated with myself.  I don't feel like myself, I have low energy and all I want to do is EAT.  I feel bad for my daughter - I didn't even have the energy to take her for a walk or play in the park this weekend - bad mama!  Thankfully she enjoys a lot of indoor activities too, but it's still not the same.

Yesterday I made myself meal prep and so far today I've been doing well with my eating.  But I do have a little guy on my shoulder whispering the words...'chocolate chocolate' in my ear.  GO AWAY dammit.  I need to feel better and chocolate won't be the cure (or at least not the long term cure).  Sigh...I remember saying to my boss one day (also a single parent) - I don't know how you do it.  And she said it's all good as long as nobody gets sick.  If that happens, then it's basically like a car accident and takes a while to get back up again.  I can definitely relate these days.  Here's hoping I will be on the mend soon - if not, it's back to the Dr I go. 



Balance

I struggled this past week to find balance.  Balancing clean eating with a busy schedule of raising a toddler, working full time and trying to incorporate some socializing/dating can be a challenge!  Last week there was wine, chocolate dipped strawberries, birthday cake, bbq'd hotdogs...the list goes on.  I did my best to balance it all out with being active and sharing everything but I have to be honest I'm a bit afraid to get on the scale.  I'm not going to let this dictate a shift in my lifestyle though.  I know that I will have busy weeks like this again and that is life!  I'm ok with that and just have to pick up where I left off and press on.  First 'to do' - grocery shop from some fresh items.  I didn't even have time to do that on the weekend! 

 



Hungry!

For some reason these past two days I have been quite hungry in between my meals.  So the big question - do I eat or pre-occupy myself with other things in hopes of it going away?  I did have a cheat day on the weekend, so perhaps that's why or it could also be that I'm burning more calories with incorporating more runs into my schedule?  Either way I am HUNGRY.  I know that is often a question about exercise - do you eat back your calories like My Fitness Pal suggests?  Skinny Meg recommended to try eating back half. I think I will see what the scale says this week and then play with my calories as necessary. 

Do you ever feel this way?

So I've lost 12 pounds - not a lot, but I've hit my 'magic number' as I mentioned before, where I go from fat to chubby and people start to notice me more.  My boss said I looked skinny today - ha!

I feel more confident, happy with my body and overall just GOOD!  So here is my question - does this make you want to stop and return to your 'old habits'?  I hate to admit it but that has happened to me a number of times over the years.  I think I get to the point where I think I look ok and I start to treat myself a bit more and then a bit more and then before you know it I'm back up 10 pounds or more.  I'm really trying to be in this for the long haul aka FOREVER so I am trying really hard to stay on plan and focused on exercising and my eating.  Because my magic number is still over 200 lbs and that's not healthy.  I need to keep moving and working on getting that number down.  For me first, for my daughter, my health and dammit for my skinny jeans!  I WILL GET THERE no matter how long it takes.  175 I see you and I'm coming to get you :-) 

 

my favourite...

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/10601265/?claim=3rhfd5kvf3f">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Learning to Run

I am trying to run.  I long to be 'fit enough' to run carelessly and easily through the trails of our city.  I've been trying to get out 3 times a week at least and whenever I see the groups of runners or those that seem to do it so easily I get excited when I think that could be me one day.  I NEVER thought I would say that.  I hate exercise but for some reason the sun, beautiful weather at lunch time and just the fresh air has been a great combo for me.  It's stress relieving, it makes me feel good physically (well maybe not the next day when I'm stiff) and I think it's helping me shed some weight. My goal for now is to be able to run a 5K.  I have a ways to go.  Today I ran for about 2K but I did do 5K total.  I used to be the type that focused on time exercising and now I'm focusing on distance.  I'm not sure if one is better than the other but I feel like I'm accomplishing something cool!  And I downloaded the app - Runkeeper which tracks your pace, distance, time and calories burned.  It's neat to see how well you did at the end.  And something I noticed today - running without a stroller to push makes you twice as fast!  HA - go figure. 

My only concern is - what to do when the weather changes :(  I suppose the treadmill will be the answer...which means a gym membership.  I'm up for it but I do hope the warm weather lasts as outside is far more enjoyable.

Now if only I could disguise my tomato face after

PS Getting close to 'onderland' eeeeep :-) 

To Shop or Not To Shop

A change of seasons is upon us and I love to refresh my wardrobe this time of year.  But now that I'm seeing action on the scale (the right kind of action - ha) I debate about buying many things or just holding off.  I think I will be strategic in my purchases and maybe only by things that have stretch or fit on the smaller side for now...or are on sale :) 

Here are a few of my 'wants' for the fall:

 

Leather patch leggings - obsessed with these

 

 Boyfriend Blazer

 

 Sequin Skirt

People are starting to notice!

I had a great long weekend and was sad to see it come to an end :(  The weather was amazing (finally) and we took advantage of it - lots of runs/walks, BBQs and just being outside.  My child LOVES the outdoors and running free.  I sometimes wonder if it's because we live in a condo with no backyard!  Ah well, that's all mommy can manage for now!

I had a friend in town for the weekend and met up with her and my BFF Friday night.  I saw her 3 weeks ago, but she immediatiely commented how 'skinny' I look and asked what I'd been doing.  I couldn't help but laugh as I'm far from skinny and she is indeed SKINNY (like 5'10 and a size 8).  But I took the compliment and explained a bit about my new lifestyle.  My BFF asked me how much I had lost, and when I said 10 pounds they both said it looked like more than that.  I was surprised to hear that 1 - they had even noticed and 2 - that they said it looked like more than 10 pounds.  My only explanation is that perhaps I'm less bloated as I'm not eating much as far as processed foods go and my salt intake is also quite low for the same reasons.  Or...maybe they are just blowing fluff up my butt as my clothes pre-pregnancy are still not fitting great.  And the scale is still up 5 pounds from then as well. 

I also think I have a 'magic' number, where once I hit it, I no longer look fat and just chubby lol.  More people start to notice I've lost weight when I hit this number and other people start to notice me.  I get more looks from men and people are far more friendly!  I've always wondered if it is because I become more attractive or is it because I'm more happy with myself and that comes out as confidence?  Perhaps a bit of both?  Nonetheless I'm feeling good and plan to stay consistent and embrace my new lifestyle!

 

 

 

 

And remember...

 

 

(or just find your 'magic' number)